


document the world inside his skin

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Asexual Character, Asexual Harry, Coming Out, Hand Jobs, It's actually one handjob but, Kissing, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Masturbation, Oops, Past Nick/Harry - Freeform, i've changed the name of this four times sigh, it's minimal at best
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-27
Updated: 2014-08-27
Packaged: 2018-07-25 18:44:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7543768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Liam, I'm...I'm ace."<br/>Liam smiles, "I'm glad we agree on something. You're an amazing guy, H."<br/>"No, no," Harry shakes his head as he grins softly, "I mean I'm ace. Ace as in asexual." </p><p>Harry knows who he is, who he's always been, but Liam's a little out of the loop. Telling him goes better than expected.</p>
            </blockquote>





	document the world inside his skin

**Author's Note:**

  * For [littlepinkbow](https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlepinkbow/gifts).



> This was so new to me because I've never written an ace character before, so if there are any misconseptions or errors/things that are not necessarily true, please let me know. I did some research and hope I did the ace community justice. If not, politely correct me and I'll make adjustments from there. 
> 
> I tried my hardest. I really, really did. Also, I'm sorry for changing it to first year uni. I just felt I could better build a relationship if they had just met. 
> 
> Thanks to Amanda for beta-ing! This fic wouldn't have been possible without you :)
> 
> Title from 'A Beginning Song' by The Decemberists.
> 
> (This is sort of terrible and I'm sorry)
> 
> [Alternatively titled 'oh and now, darling, all that shit is behind us' from 'Paris' by Magic Man]

The summer before Harry’s last year of uni, he gets a boyfriend. It’s nothing unusual for him—he'd come out to his family the year before as gay and has had a few since then—but it goes further than any other relationship he’s ever had.

Nick—he’s far more experienced than Harry is and it makes Harry a little uneasy. He doesn’t want to do the things Nick has done with the guys before him and he doesn't know how to explain it to him. It's frustrating to say the least.

It takes Harry a long time to confront it, to actually ask Nick about it, but he’s glad he does because it opens him up to an entire identity he hadn’t known actually existed. When Nick explains it to him, tells him about what it means to be _asexual_ , Harry feels a sense of belonging he hasn’t felt since discovering he was gay.

Nick helped him become comfortable enough to express his limits, his boundaries, which in turn helped their relationship exponentially.

In fact, if it weren’t for Nick’s opportunity for a semester understudying in the States, they probably never would’ve broken up. Even if Nick’s a bit of an arse sometimes.

It’s amicable, their split, and they leave as friends, goodbye kisses pressed into the skin of each other’s cheeks as Nick boards a plane and Harry gets his uni acceptance letter.

They talk as Harry prepares to go off to uni, but not invasively so. Nick gets a boyfriend and Harry gets a new comforter set. It’s good, their friendship. It’s so good.

Nick flies out to see Harry the day before he’s supposed to be off for his dormitory. They have dinner and Nick invites Harry to come to New York to see him when the year’s over. Harry, of course, says yes, and so it is.

Nick flies home the day Harry’s driven down to his new flat by his mum. It’s a happy goodbye, full of a round of cheek kisses and laughs and promises.

“Love you, you silly bastard,” Nick says as the barrier in between them.

“Love you, too, you filthy arse.”

Nick laughs and then turns away, shouting, “I’ll see you in NYC!”

“Promise,” Harry says softly. “ _Promise_.”

Harry and his mum drive straight to London, tired but thrumming with nervous energy, and she drops Harry off with a wet smile and several kisses to his cheeks.

“I’m so...proud of you, H.”  

“Thank you,” he says and he’s crying, too, but it’s okay. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, love. Call me later! Please.”

“I will. I promise. Bye, mum.”

Harry hugs her tightly, hiding his face in her neck because he’s crying and he’s tired and he’s nervous that his new ‘mate with hate him.

“Goodbye, Harry. Have fun!”

Harry kisses her cheek once more before he pulls away, wiping at his face to hide his tears. He just loves his mum so much. He doesn’t know what he’s going to do without her.

She smiles at him, watery-eyed, and then hops back into her car. She watches Harry for a moment, unsure and crying, and then begins to drive away.

Harry nods at her and takes a deep breath. He’s got this. He can do this.

He waits until he can’t see her car anymore before he grabs his bags and lugs them toward the dorms. He’d signed in with his mum at his side, so he’s already gotten his keys and his dorm assignment.

Harry sniffles once and unlocks the door to the room he’ll be sharing with another student for an entire school year. He hopes Liam’s as nice as his name sounds.

When he opens the door, the room is lit up with a series of lamps placed strategically around the place. On one side is a twin bed with two suitcases stacked upon it, a backpack, and a box of books. The opposite side of the room has the same bed, but it’s empty. It’s Harry’s.

There’s a boy standing in the middle of the room, blinking rapidly as he stares at Harry. Harry stares back.

He’s one of the most beautiful men Harry’s ever seen. Tall, scruffy-faced, and kind eyed, Liam’s more than Harry could’ve ever expected. He’s a bit surprised, is all.

“Um,” Harry says. “Hi.”

“Hi,” Liam says after a second, smiling. “I’m Liam.”

“Harry.”

“So I guess we’re ‘mates, huh?”

Harry’s standing in the doorway like a fool, but he can’t look at anything but Liam’s kind smile. Maybe they’ll be great friends. Liam looks like he’d make an amazing friend.

“Guess so.”

“I hope it’s okay that I took this bed...I probably should’ve waited and asked...but I was sort of excited.”

“No, it's fine,” Harry smiles again. “I like this side better anyway.”

Liam just looks at him as he begins to enter the room, eyes following him unconsciously.

“What's your major?”

“Elementary education,” Harry responds. “You?”

Now that he's in the room, he realizes it's bigger than he thought it was. There's at least five feet between their beds. Harry, surprisingly, isn't as nervous as he'd thought he'd be. Sharing a space with a stranger was something he'd struggled with in the past. Apparently, he's gotten over it.

“Paleontology.”

“Oh,” Harry says, surprised.

He hadn’t expected that, is all.

“That sounds interesting. You enjoy digging up bones?”

Liam laughs, sarcastic, “It’s only my _favourite_ thing to do.”

Harry laughs and sits upon his bed. It squeaks when he shifts his weight and Liam grins.

“Want to get some lunch? I'm starving.”

That's sort of the beginning.

-

Harry doesn't expect their friendship to develop so fast. It starts with lunch and then it's a movie at the cinema and studying and texting each other in class and it just sort of spirals a bit out of control.

Harry doesn't mean to let it, honestly, but one day, Liam holds his hand.

And it's not bad nor does it make Harry uncomfortable, but he recognizes that Liam probably thinks of it as the next step toward a relationship. A different type.

Harry isn't ready to tell Liam, though, so he squeezes his hand once, a promise for later, and drops it.

They don't talk about it for a long, long time.

Harry goes to see Nick on winter break and leaves Liam in the UK. They text, of course, and Nick decides he might approve.

“Sounds like a lovely lad. Have to meet him to be sure, though.”

“He's...He wants more, I think, than just friends.”

“Oh,” Nick says softly. “Does he know?”

“That I'm ace? No. Haven't told him. Been hesitant to, actually. Sorta don't want to fuck up our friendship.”

“So he must be a good dude, then,” Nick smiles. “He'll understand if he's really as good a man as you've said.”

“I hope so,” Harry sighs.

“So I've got tickets to see Magic Man in July.”

“Are you serious?!’

Harry's favourite band is Magic Man. They're small and just vaguely indie enough to attract a loser like Harry.

“Wholeheartedly. Got ‘em for free from my boss.”

“Oh, my God!”

“Think you can make it out in April?”

“Absolutely!”

-

Harry returns to school with a new scarf and new determination. He's got to tell Liam before he falls too hard.

Harry couldn't stand hurting Liam.

Harry invites Liam to dinner and a movie just to tell him. It was a nice restaurant with candles on the tables and wine Liam described as ‘grapey’ while he laughed so hard tears sprung to his eyes. Honestly, it was the perfect night to tell him. Sitting in the theatre after crowds of clueless people left before the end credits of any Marvel movie, nestled into two small consecutive seats, Harry could've leaned over and said the three little words that would've made him an honest man.

But he just _can't_.

He chickens out as they watch the end credits of Deadpool. He chickens out when Liam's laughing so hard his eyes sparkle with it.

Harry's a wuss and he accepts that about himself.

_-_

Late in March, Harry decides he's got to do it, even if the thought terrifies him. Even if things get weird between he and Liam.

So he sits Liam down on the beanbag chair in their room and looks straight into his beautiful eyes.

“Liam,” he says and there's a half second of hesitancy, an irreversible and irreverent pause, before he says, “I'm ace.”

“Oh,” Liam says and then he's grinning that wonderfully doe-eyed innocent smile and Harry's smiling, too, sort of laughing, when Liam says, “I'm glad we agree on that. You're an amazing guy, H.”

Harry scoffs, rolling his eyes with fondness only Liam and Nick get, and says, “Not that kind of ace, love. Ace as in asexual.”

“Oh. Okay. But it's still agreed that you're great, right? Because I wasn't kidding about you being an amazing dude.”

Harry covers his face with his hands and laughs. This is one of the few acceptable reactions to someone coming out. Harry's glad he's found such a great best friend.

“Shut up.”

Harry pushes his knee, gentle, and realizes his cheeks are tinted pink. He's so, so fond and it's making him blush. Oh, well.

“I probably should tell you,” Liam says with a rebellious glint in his eye.

Harry recognizes it as the look he gets when Liam's about to do something silly or hilarious or recklessly and stupidly honest.

“I'm gay.”

“Oh, _wow_ ,” Harry fakes surprise. “Really?”

“Yes, really.”

“I am _so_ surprised,” Harry grins. “It's not like after your third day here you didn't bring home that hot boy from your maths class or anything.”

“How did you know about that?!”

“Zayn and I...We're friends. He told me.”

“What a traitor!”

Harry's glad Liam's the person he's made his best friend. Now he's just got to decide if he wants more.

Great.

-

The next day, Liam takes Harry out for Chinese and makes the decision for him. Or at least he helps Harry with it.

The restaurant is small and smells like oil and fried rice, but the lighting is nice and the staff is excellent. Harry adores it instantly.

“I know you love small indie things, so I figured a tiny family owned shop would be right up your alley.”

Harry just nods, awed by how much Liam seems to know about him. Surely he knows just as much about Liam, but it awes him that someone cares that much.

“I brought you here because I want to ask you a few things. About you.”

“Okay,” Harry begins to feel more than a little anxious.

What kinds of questions could Liam possibly have? Will they be too invasive? Will Harry have to do something he doesn't want to, like be mean?

“I was up last night reading about asexuality and I—”

“I thought you were writing a paper!”

“Nope,” Liam grins and laughs. “Just trying to understand.”

Harry rolls his eyes fondly and lets Liam continue.

“So I read about it and was left with about few questions. They hopefully aren't too invasive.”

“Okay. Shoot.”

“First, would you like to be my boyfriend? I know what it entails and that it most likely will not include sex and I'm okay with that because I care about you. I just want you...as my boyfriend. Exclusively.”

“Oh, my. Um.”

Harry's stricken. How abrupt.

“I'm not the most articulate man on earth and certainly not the most romantic, but I figured this was the right place to ask. A cute little restaurant on the edge of town where no one whom I know may get to embarrass me for life if you say no.”

Harry can't form coherent thoughts, let alone a coherent sentence. He just stammers for a few seconds until the shock wears away.

He thinks about Liam dating other guys, taking them out to cute Chinese restaurants, having him bring them home, and cringes.

He does not want that. He wants. Well, he wants Liam. As his boyfriend.

“I...would like that,” is what Harry replies, soft, smiling. “Though you've to understand—”

“Let me finish asking my questions, love,” Liam pats Harry's hand, grinning. “I learnt about...sex repulsion? I want to talk about your boundaries.”

“Oh, um. You can hold my hand. I like that. Um...I'm not necessarily sex repulsed? Like, I'm asexual which means I have no sexual attraction, but if one day, you want to and I want to, I might not necessarily be against it.

“Kissing, like small kisses, are okay. In fact, I'd like that. I just. Don't want to further it currently at this point in my life.”

“Okay. Um. Would you like to go to a concert with me as our first date?”

“What concert?” Harry smiles.

-

It's good. Harry and Liam, they're good.

Liam is understanding and pretty much the best boyfriend Harry could've asked for.

Things do take a turn, though, when Harry returns from his week in NYC after seeing Magic Man with Nick.

He's home a day early because he wants to surprise Liam and because Nick’s newest boyfriend doesn't really like Harry. Which is surprising because most of Nick's boyfriends love Harry. 

He doesn't knock on the door when he arrives because he lives there. There's no need.

Except there sort of, apparently, is.

Harry opens the door and looks inside, turns to look at Liam’s side of the room, and is stricken by what he sees.

Liam is seated upon the middle of his bed, laptop in front of him, pants kicked off onto the floor. There’s a brown-haired man on the screen interacting with a taller, thinner man. At first Harry thinks it’s friendly, the interaction, but it’s when he hears the phrase ' _fuck me'_  that he realizes he’d been _so_ wrong.

Christ, Harry realizes, Liam’s watching porn and wanking. God.

Harry just watches, vaguely fascinated with the sexual mind, and decides he’s being fucking creepy, so he slowly shuts the door and quietly creeps away.

His cheeks flame when he reaches the end of the hallway and is free to giggle. So he does, very loudly.

He just walked in on Liam masturbating. He can’t believe this.

He slides down the wall, cheeks still burning red, half laughing, and places his head on his knees.

Harry will never be able to look at Liam again.

-

Harry returns to their room an hour or so later, after he’s calmed down and eaten a bagel from the cafeteria. He can’t look at Liam’s side of the room, can’t glance at the bed where he was sitting, without blushing so hard it’s like a sunburn.

He’s glad Liam’s left, so he has time to gather his thoughts.

Harry drops his suitcase onto the floor and collapses on his bed, mattress squeaking only slightly. He stares up at his ceiling, at the stars Liam stuck there, and rolls his eyes at himself.

Liam’s wanking is a good sign, Harry hopes. He really does.

He lays there, hands folded over his belly, until the door opens slowly and Liam enters. In his hands, he holds a pizza and a thin book.

Harry grins in happiness when he sees him. He’d missed Liam. He really did.

He sits up, the bed squeaks, and Liam looks over in shock. Harry’s surprised he didn’t drop the pizza. Instead, he drops his book and gasps.

“Harry!”

“Liam!”

“You’re back early!” He places the pizza onto his bed and then turns to Harry, arms outstretched.

Harry takes a breath, glances at Liam’s hands for half a second, and then runs right into his arms. Liam’s his favourite person on Earth.

“I missed you,” Liam says softly, breath warm against Harry’s ear.

“I’m sure you did,” Harry muses, just as soft. “I missed you, too.”

“How was it? In The States?”

“Rainy and a bit windy. Nothing too different from here. Though understanding what some people were saying was a little difficult. Deep dish was ace and so was Magic Man. Missed you lots, though.”

“Yeah?” Liam murmurs. “Did you think of me during _It All Starts Here_?”

Every since Harry introduced Liam to the band, he sings _It All Starts Here_ in the shower everyday [(x)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NGnZocmwdQU). It’s sort of sweet and Liam’s a great singer, so Harry thinks of it fondly.

“Of course,” Harry grins. “Who else has warm eyes, a crooked smile, and fire in their blood?”

-

The first time Harry kisses Liam is on the tube. They’re on their way home from visiting Liam's sisters, hands clutched tightly between them, when Harry decides it’s time.

Liam’s grinning at a woman with a baby sitting across from them, making funny faces so the baby’s loud giggles chorus through the car, and, well, Harry can’t stop himself.

He taps Liam on the shoulder, pressed against the right side of his body from foot to shoulder, and doesn’t retreat when Liam turns his head, face centimetres away.

“Hey,” he says softly.

“Hi,” Liam replies with a crooked grin.

“Can I kiss you?”

Liam looks at him, still half smiling, and nods, “Of course you can.”

So Harry does. He leans in and presses his lips to Liam’s, fearless and admiring. He's glad he does, too.

Harry can feel Liam’s smile, smell his cologne and shampoo, and sighs, reaching up to hold onto Liam’s face gently.

Liam kisses him back, softly, like he’s afraid Harry’ll break, and he might just.

Liam tips his head back and kisses his top lip, breaking out into a grin when he rests his forehead against Harry's.

It's the best kiss Harry's ever had.

“You're cute.”

“Thank you,” Harry grins back. “You're incredible.”

-

It's half way into the second semester of Harry's second year of uni when Liam takes him out. It's not unusual to see them out on the town, but tonight. It feels different.

Harry can guess what's going to happen. Could probably predict it. He's not going to stop it from happening, doesn't want to, and his smile never falls from his lips.

They go to the small Chinese restaurant on the edge of town, the one Liam asked Harry to be his boyfriend at, and Liam kisses Harry once, a promise, before sitting down.

“So,” Harry says, biting his lip. “What's the special occasion?”

This is their special occasion restaurant.

“I, once again, bring you here to do something silly and or possibly reckless. Harry, when you first stepped into the dorm, I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Who I was seeing. Your face was splotchy and red with tears, but you were still by far the most gorgeous person I'd ever seen. Then I got to know you, got to see the person behind those lovely green eyes, and I really understood what it was like to be in love. I'm so grateful to be your boyfriend, to be the one who gets to help you through your shit, the one who gets to hold your hand and kiss your cheek, and I...I don't know why this had to be such a complete declaration of love, but I just needed you to know that I'm completely and hopelessly, madly in love with you.”

And, well, Harry certainly hadn't expected that.

Tears well up in his eyes, so moved and stricken that he can't even speak. God, he loves Liam, too, but how will he ever produce a better speech than Liam's?

“H?”

“Oh, love, I'm so sorry for crying, but I love you, too, so much. I've been in love with you for ages. Possibly since the moment I knew what your heart was like.”

It's bordering on nonsense, but Liam gets it, just like he always does. He leans in and wraps Harry in a hug, gripping his shirt in between his fists.

How did Harry get so lucky as to find the person who understands him most in uni? That kind of thing doesn't just _happen_. If Harry believed in them, he'd say it was a miracle. _They're_ a miracle.

“I love you,” Harry whispers against Liam's neck. “I love you I love you I love you.”

He could say it forever.

-

He takes Liam home to meet his mum a few weeks after that. Anne, who is shorter than both of them, demands to kiss them both on the crowns of their heads.

It's, well. Harry is mortified, but it's her thing, so.

“Mum,” Harry whines, “I'm a grown man.”

“You're still my boy.”

Harry just sighs and leans down. He knows he'll never win this war. Liam graciously does the same, smiling like he'd been allowed in on some inside joke. Harry blushes, embarrassed only a little, and Liam grins.

“It's so lovely to finally meet you,” Liam says with sincerity in his eyes. “I've heard wonderful things.”

“I could say the same. Over winter break, Harry whined about how much he missed you for hours at a time. Made me a bit resentful, but now I get it.”

Harry's mum knows exactly what to say to make Harry want to hide under the table and hug her so tight at the same time. He loves his mum.

Liam turns to him and wrinkles his nose, grinning. He looks adorable. Like a puppy.

“Can I get you anything? A cup of tea perhaps?”

“I'd love one. Thank you.”

“H,” his mum smiles, “could you…?”

“Absolutely,” Harry smiles.

Liam and Anne wander away from Harry and toward the living room as he turns on the kettle.

“You watch Supernatural?!” Liam says, aghast.

He's a devout fan. Harry's in love with a giant nerd.

“Oh, my God. _Yes_!”

Harry's mum is also a super nerd. Harry is _surrounded_ by nerds.

“Who's your favourite?”

“Dean is like my child,” Liam says with sympathy in his voice. “The world is royally screwing him.”

Harry shakes his head, fond to the bone, and fills the cups with water.

“Me, too!”

He loves them both so much.

-

For the last week of winter break, they go to Liam's mum's.

Harry's sweating the entire drive, nervous to the bone, but Liam assures him that she'll love him. Says that they're exactly alike and that if he loves Harry, so will she.

The assurances do little to settle the bees’ nest buzzing around in Harry's stomach.

When they arrive, Harry's shirt sticks a little to his back and Liam's hand in his is sopping with sweat. He doesn't complain and Harry loves him for it.

“Mrs. Payne,” Harry says softly, nervously, as he reaches out to shake her hand, “it's lovely to meet you.”

Karen is shorter than both he and Liam, but she has a quiet chaos in her eyes. It's a bit like Liam's.

She looks at him slightly, a lingering gaze that lasts maybe two seconds, before she grins at him, eyes lighting up as she reaches out for a hug.

Harry laughs and hugs her back as she squeezes him so tight his heels rise off the ground a bit.

It's a good hug. Warm and everything and hug from a mum should be.

“Let's have some tea, yeah? And some biscuits. Maybe out on the deck? It's a bit cold, but the view's nice.”

Everyone decides the cold will be worth it, so they wait for their tea and head out, wrapped up in jumpers. And, sure, it's cold, but the view is stunning and it's Harry's aesthetic.

The sliding doors lead out onto an unkempt wooden deck with a small table and chairs. Past the deck are rows of dried up roses, frozen in the cool air, and an immense amount of free land.

It's beautiful and Harry wonders why Liam would ever choose to leave.

They all sit around at the small wicker table on small, wobbly wicker chairs and sip from delicate, but large teacups.

It's eccentric and lovely and embodies everything Harry could ever want from a cup of tea.

“Liam used to love having parties out here with the cats. Used to dress ‘em up in hats and have them sip milk from saucers like proper citizens.”

Harry turns to Liam, face lit up with fond, and coos at him, “Liam! That's _adorable!_ Who knew you were so _cute_!?”

“That's just the tip of the iceberg! I have infinite cute and quirky Liam stories! When he thought he was alone, he used to pretend he’d won a Grammy and would just start thanking the world and his mum and his _'annoying but generally nice'_ older sisters for making it possible. The speech became so real, I bought him a microphone and had an award made.”

“Mum, no,” Liam shakes his head. “Stop.”

“Oh, no, mum,” Harry grins. “Continue.”

Their relationship continues to blossom from then on. Soon after it’s all the sisters and then it’s birthdays and it’s like they’re all one happy family. It’s fantastic and makes Harry feel so comfortable, so loved, that his entire body glows with it.

Liam’s smile is full of the lovelight, too, so it’s mutual. It’s wonderful. Harry loves his life. Loves his Liam, loves what they have.

So it's with that understanding that he plans their next step. He wants Liam to know how he feels, wants to make Liam feel good.

So, a week before their third winter break, Harry leaves class early because he knows Liam's home, knows what he's most likely doing—he's not walked in on him wanking again, but he can usually tell because Liam is as obvious as his dick—, and chooses to take the next step. Chooses to do this because he wants to make Liam happy.

So he steps into their room, fidgeting with his hands nervously, and walks toward Liam’s bed.

“Li?”

“Harry? Oh, God, H!” Liam turns to look at him, face gone blank in shock and fear and embarrassment, hand down his pants. “I'm sorry! I thought you'd be in class and I—”

“It's okay, Liam. I came back on purpose. I…”

Harry's more than a bit nervous. He's never done anything of this sort. He wants to make Liam feel as good as he makes Harry feel, just in a slightly different way. Because, of course, Harry is ace and Liam is sexual. It’s a different experience for both of them, Harry supposes.

“I want to.”

“H...You don't have to. I don't need you to.”

Harry steps farther into the room, closing the door behind him.

“I know, but I want to. I want to do this for you. I may not get why, but you want this, and therefore, by association, so do I.”

Harry sits down beside Liam, smiling faintly.

“Are you sure?” Liam turns to him, the most caring person he's ever met. “I don't want you to...do something you don't want to.”

“I want to, Liam.”

Liam nods in assent, “Okay, then. Let's do this.”

Harry nods, too, and turns toward Liam, hand resting hot against Liam's knee. His jeans are around his ankles, so Harry's pulls his pants down enough so Liam's dick sticks out.

And, well, it's a dick. And from Harry's understanding, a large one.

Liam looks at him, blinks, and kisses him. Harry turns his neck to kiss Liam firmer, one hand curled against his thigh, the other around his shoulder. Liam opens his mouth under Harry's, kisses him harder, hands twisted in the front of Harry's shirt.

Liam settles back against the bed and Harry swings his leg over Liam's waist, settling down against his torso. It's, well, it's not bad. Harry likes kissing Liam. Harry loves Liam.

He reaches back, hand shaking, and wraps his fist around Liam's dick.

Harry can tell the moment he does it by the minuscule gasp Liam breathes into his mouth, by the stutter in his hips. Harry kisses him again, closed mouthed and soft.

“I love you, Harry,” Liam breathes. “So much. More than you'll ever know.”

Harry kisses him once more, grinning, and slides off of Liam's lap and to the mattress beside him.

“I love you, too.”

Harry fits his hand around Liam's dick and he wanks him languidly. He's never done this before, not for himself, not for Nick. Only for Liam.

Liam's body responds immediately, hips bucking up until he controls himself, gasping with every stroke. Harry smiles and kisses Liam's chest, still stroking, and runs his thumb over his slit. Liam's chest rumbles underneath Harry and it's then that Harry realizes that he's hard as well.

It's nothing new, really. A bodily function. He's experienced them before and he'll experience them again. Harry just keeps going.

“Harry, baby,” Liam says between gasps, “I'm gonna...You can...stop.”

“Do you want me to?”

“No, but—”

“I don't want to stop either. Shall I continue?”

At Liam's firm nod, Harry continues, stroking faster and firmer, free hand interlocked with Liam's.

When Liam comes, he arches slightly off the bed and coats Harry's knuckles. Harry wipes them on Liam's pants, unsure of what else to do, and lays down beside Liam, happy. He's glad he'd done this.

Liam lays beside him for a while, just breathing until his heart rate settles, and then leans over to kiss Harry's forehead.

“Hi.”

“Hi,” Harry responds, grinning. “Your voice is all rumbly. Like in the mornings.”

“Is it? Hadn't noticed.”

Harry laughs and presses his own kiss to Liam's nose.

“You're cute.”

“You're cuter.”

Harry grins and boops his nose. Liam is the cut _est._

-

Nick comes to visit a few weeks after winter break ends. He meets Liam officially in person and Harry’s immensely relieved when he realizes they get along better than Harry’s ever gotten along with any of Nick’s exes. They’re like life long best mates.

Nick can’t stay long, though, has to visit his parents, so he bids them a goodbye and gives Harry his blessing. It’s all Harry could ever ask for.

-

Harry’s mum calls him from her house and asks him for his Netflix password. While it’s not technically his Netflix account—It’s Liam’s—, he gives it to her anyway. It’s not illegal in the UK yet, so fuck the USA.

He'd do anything for his mum, including breaking the law so she can binge watch Scrubs, and for Liam, as well. It's a mind-blowing revelation.

Liam is family. Liam is the love of Harry's life. Harry would do almost _anything_ for Liam.

It should've been simple, the realization. But it hits Harry like a tonne of bricks. Harry wants to _marry_ Liam. He's so shocked he almost drops his phone to the floor, mid-call.

It's been three years and they've had their fights—the stupidest fight was over Liam losing the cap to the toothpaste and it ended with an apology fest and lots of ice cream—, but Harry wouldn’t have it any other way. He’d rather die than lose the time he’s spent with Liam.

“Mum, I’ve to go,” Harry says suddenly. “I’ve to buy a ring.”

-

Their small Chinese restaurant on the edge of town has become a sacred place. The people who work in the shop call them ‘lovers’ and it’s one of the few restaurants in town where Harry knows the food is good and the people are kind. Plus, they typically only go when important relationship questions are involved.

He takes Liam there the week before the end of the third year of uni. They sit at their table underneath the flickering neon sign, and the black box in Harry’s pocket feels like it weighs a tonne.

He’d momentarily thought of putting it in the food, but had decided against it. Liam has a bad track record of swallowing things he shouldn’t have, or so Karen has said. Legos, doll shoes, and once, a rock.

Harry’s going to marry a complete fool.

“Liam,” Harry says softly, “you know that I’m typically not very good with stringing together more than a few sentences without fucking up. My thoughts move faster than my mouth can keep up with and it creates more than a few royal fuck ups. So I didn’t write a long speech. I couldn’t. Every time I tried, I crumpled it up and started over because there’s nothing—not a speech nor poem, book, or song—that will ever express my complete and hopeless love for you better than a promise. Better than a band wrapped around your finger that I put there. So, I searched and I searched for a ring fit for you. Not for a king, not for a simple man. I searched for a ring that me think of nothing but how much I completely and wholly fucking adore you. So, without anymore of my unintelligible rambling, would you marry me?”

Harry slips the box from his pocket and holds the ring out, pressed between his two fingers. Liam looks at him, not at the ring, not yet, and he smiles so delicately Harry’s afraid he’ll break. But he doesn’t. His smile grows bigger until it’s a grin and he’s giggling and shaking, hand outstretched as Harry fumbles to put the ring on.

Harry looks over at him, at the reflection of himself in Liam’s eyes, and knows the answer before it comes out of Liam’s mouth.

“Yes.”

**Author's Note:**

> Original prompt was: Harry is asexual and while he's never told any of the boys he was in a short relationship (maybe it ended because Nick decided to do a semester abroad?) with Nick Grimshaw. Nick was the person who helped Harry figure out that he was asexual and was very supportive and helpful of him, they still remain friends. During their second year at uni, Liam and Harry were placed in a room together and they grew closer and Liam eventually admitted he had feelings for Harry and asked him on a date. Harry went to Nick for advice because he wasn't sure how Liam would take his sexuality, but Harry eventually said yes. He would tell Liam upfront about his sexuality, Liam would definitely react well, maybe either telling Harry he had a feeling or being incredibly understanding about it.
> 
> I hope I didn't royally fuck up. Also I hope you liked this and it wasn't too far from what you'd hoped it would be :)


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